| こ と だ |
過 ぎ ぬ べ ら な り ： 過 ぎ て ゆ く |
つ も り て ： 積 も っ て |
長 い 刻 ∧ と き ∨ が す ぎ て ゆ く |
と ぎ れ と ぎ れ に 君 の 夢 を み て |
春 の 日 は 何 気 な い 貌 を み せ る が |
夜 を す ご す 幾 夜 も ` 幾 夜 も |
じ り じ り と 焼 か れ る 思 い で |
君 は 来 な い |
あ ん な に 堅 く 約 束 し た の に |
I seem to have suffered this nonsense all
the time. Am I a masochist?
Perhaps so. I tend to care for a woman more
in case she treats me rather
cruelly while I react less favourably if
she shows a fond affection to me.
This is very strange but if I analyze myself
carefully, it might be that my
particular attitude is deeply rooted in the
mental damage I suffered in my
first love when I was 18 years old. In those
days I was ridiculously naive.
I was thinking that if I treated a girl nicely,
she'd naturally reciprocate it.
But what happened was far from it and my
ego was miserably wounded.
Since then, I might have been trying unconciously
to avenge it.
Now it's high time for me to get rid of this
nonsense.